Am I the only one who is disturbed about how much assets and resources are being used to rescue people from Hurricanes theses days? I'm not talking about people in Houston who were ordered to stay put or those who trusted in a "shelter of last resort" known to authorities to be insufficient tp weather a Hurricane force storm, like those in New Orleans during Katrina. No, I mean those in southern Louisiana during Katrina, Fort Walton Beach during Dennis and most recently, those in Galveston Island during Ike that refused to obey mandatory evacuation orders.
I read today that over 2,000 people have been rescued from Galveston who were stranded just in the past 24 hours. These are not like the Baltic sailors on a 580 foot Oil freighter whose vessel broke down in the worst of all possible places, directly in front of a then category 3 Hurricane. No, these are the people who were advised to leave 7 days prior, offered transportation up to 2 days prior and ordered to leave 72 hours out, and resisted each time. And now both my tax dollars and my emergency responders' time and efforts are being eaten up picking up those too foolish to evacuate when they could have.
As I first responder myself, it is frustrating when I put my life on the line to rescue or save someone who had the ability to save themselves, except for their own stupidity. It's like a person living on the ground floor of a building who, smelling smoke, hearing the fire alarm and then seeing the massive fire raging two stories up decides, "No, I'm good. I'm going to sit it out and wait." It is plain idiocy.
Proverbs teaches us, "A wise man sees trouble and takes refuge, but a fool continues on and suffers for it." How very true indeed. Does this mean we turn our backs on them? Of course not, no. We must above all have compassion, even on the stupid. Despite it being at their own hands, they are still suffering, and their situation requires action on our part. That is why I have been active in helping to get relief supplies and basic shelter neccessities to Galveston and Houston.
Who is going to foot the bill for the logistical support, the hundreds of wasted manhours of our dedicated first responders, as well as the staples to help those unneccessarily in need? Not they, unfortunately. They are refugees. Poor, poor refugees. If I were Gov Perry, I would catalagoue and then present a bill to every single person rescued who is inside the mandatory evacuation area for "goods and services rendered." This sends the message that if you do something stupid and find yourself in danger, yes we'll come and rescue you, but you will be held accountable for wasting public money and requiring people to put themselves unneccessarily in harm's way. Arizona has a law to this effect already. Why not in Texas? Or Louisiana? Or on the federal level?
NOLA leaders said before Gustav hit, if you are in the evacuation area past a certain deadline, "you're on your own," and do not expect any rescue of any kind. More power to leaders like that, who hold their consituents accountable for their actions!
One man said he only left because snakes were coming into his trailer. Several hours later, his trailer was destroyed. To think, that fool left not on the warnings of hundreds of weather experts or public officials or even neighbors and family begging him to leave. He left because of snakes. He ought to be locked up for 30 days and given a healthy respect for those who are much smarter than he.
So, let's stop coddling these second stage refugees. Truly, Galveston and Texas did a terrific job evacuating those who couldn't leave under their own power; elderly, inmates, infirmed, sick, disabled, etc. There is no better exercise of tax dollars than this. What a tragedy the worst possible waste of tax dollars immediately followed it, that is spending it to save people from their own foolishness.
My heartfelt thanks to the dedicated first responders who worked tirelessly to save thousands before and after the Hurricane hit. We need many, many more volunteers and public servants like these if we are to weather the storms of life which inevitably will descend upon us in the days and months yet to come.
14 September, 2008
01 September, 2008
Monthly Letter 01 September 2008
The first opportunity I could get, I broke my promise to write a new letter on the last day of the month. I was set to write this yesterday (Sunday) but I got a call from work that said I was needed for a “VIP mission.” A VIP mission for my line of work is when the President or Vice President travel, the Secret Service requests support for the advance search team. I had been on standby to go to Cleveland earlier in the weekend, but got the call Sunday after church that I would go to Austin in advance of President Bush. Myself and one other guy traveled to Austin for Bush’s hurricane Gustav meeting (which was today). We got in to Austin around 10PM and got back home today around 2:00 PM.
To answer some rumors, I bought a motorcycle. I have been taking the Army Motorcycle Safety Classes for a while and got my certification before I went to California. I’ve been spending about 45 minutes to 1 hour every day since riding it and getting used to it. It’s a 2002 Harley Davidson Sportster 1200c, if that means anything to you. A smaller Harley, but still a Harley. I had a picture taken, but it is more of me and less of the bike. I took it on the highway once so far, and got up to about 75 mph, although I will need more practice, since I’m only truly comfortable topping out at 60 so far. As I gain confidence and experience, I will get more comfortable with appropriate highway speeds. For now, I am fine on the 40-50 mph streets just off the highway, so getting to work doesn’t pose too much of a challenge. And yes, I wear all the safety gear, even when it is 100 degrees outside.
We finally bought a new digital piano. Our old keyboard (which I bought at our wedding in 2004) died right before I got back from Iraq, and we needed a new one. After a hard time trying to find a music store in the area that hadn’t gone out of business, we finally just logged on to Amazon, picked something we liked and ordered it. It should be here in about a week or so, just long enough to get used to it before we move.
I have been looking at places to live in Virginia. We are stuck between a 2 story townhouse with more floor space and a classy apartment complex with lots of amenities (full pool, large gym, tennis court, etc). Both setups have washer and dryer in the units, which was a requirement for us, however I got an email from one of the landlords that said only the 1 and 2 bedroom versions are available, so God might have closed a door in that area (we need a 3 bedroom). I’m not sure which it was, since the two have similar names.
For some reason, I am still getting combat pay, even 3 months after the fact. I’m putting it in a savings account to get interest, and so I have it readily available to return when my pay inquiry goes through. The frustrating thing is I am getting taxed on this extra money and I don’t know if I will get any of it back! The combat pay is about $1,500 a month extra, and that’s quite of money that isn’t mine that I am getting taxed on! Something like an additional $250-$300 a month! Hopefully it will be cleared up on this upcoming fourth pay month.
California was fun. I went as an Observer/Controller, or “O/C.” My job was for 3 weeks to coach, mentor and critique some Soldiers in my career field that are going to Iraq in a few months. I had a great time, camping in the desert, teaching and training, loaded up in my humvee with enough supplies to otherwise disappear in the hills for 4 days at a time. The unit we supported didn’t get a lot of training value out of it, and it was largely a wash for them, so the trip overall was a waste. But I had fun, anyway. As it is called, NTC (National Training Center) is in the Mojave High Desert, about 75 miles south of Death Valley. NTC at Ft Irwin, CA is very spacious and in the middle of nowhere. It takes almost 35 minutes just to leave base, as the road to the only gate is 4 miles, and then another 27 miles to the highway and nearest town (Barstow). I have a lot of pictures, and it reminded me a lot of what the Star Wars planet Tatooine (Luke Skywalkers planet from A New Hope) would look like in real life; you can see desert and rock formations for miles at a time, at some places you could see for over 20 miles. It was pretty awe-inspiring. And because the Army cares, they have installed 18-inch high, over strength chicken wire type fence to keep the endangered Desert Tortoise away from the hazards of the highway. For miles and miles. Over 250 miles of miniature fence, I believe.
I’ll write another letter before we leave for Virginia. I won’t have computer access for a week or so when I first get in, so I’ll do it early, or at least I can promise to, but you remember how well THAT worked out for me. Don’t forget I post all my letters, including this one, on my blog, which is www.religionwithoutfluff.blogspot.com (along with twice a month entries). I hope my letter finds you all well and in God’s Good Graces.
24 August, 2008
What is Pornography Doing in Marriage?
To be sure, Pornography is one of the most devious and potentially destructive vices facing men in the church today. It lurks in the shadows and degrades both women (those modeling and those not) and men. It is a vice condemned by nearly every religious organization out there. So why is Pornography such a pervasive and continual threat to the men in our lives?
Let me take an aside here for a moment and say that yes, women can fall prey to Pornography, with equally destructive results. However, the vast majority is men, and it is men I reference in my thoughts here.
First we must look at what it is. Pornography in its truest form is a replacement for something every man, woman, and child needs; the need to be wanted and desired. Not simply on a sexual level, but on a deeper, more basal level, every person needs to know s/he is wanted, that their existence means something to someone. Pornography offers just that. The models pictured are engineered to communicate, "You excite me," and "I want /need you."
It is easy to see how a single man can fall prey to this, especially when they have few solid relationships (both male and female) within the church and maintain few Christian friends in their lives. Such a man, even a man of the Covenant, is targeted and has little defense outside their own moral fortifications, which can become run down after a constant barrage (no it is not inevitable a single man will suffer the spell, only that he is in a more hazardous position). If he is chaste and a virgin, he will be less prone to Pornography, but even the most steadfast believer can succumb.
For a married man however, who is involved in a godly, sexual relationship, some might view it as a wonder (as I like to say, why pay for something I can get at home for free?). He is, hopefully, married to a godly woman who does what she can to meet his sexual needs, and is involved in a solid, Bible believing church. The disturbing question we must answer then, is why does it still exist as a problem?
Remember the essence of Pornography - the need to be needed. Somewhere inside that Christian man, the one who on the surface seems happy and content, is a sad and lonely man who is emotionally isolated and trodden down. He feels out of touch, unneeded and useless. What a tragedy that a Man of God might ever become like this, but it happens. The lack of self-worth may only be small, manifesting only once in a blue moon, but as small as it is, it is a significant part of our being. And as many know, it only takes a half second of weakness to type in www.genericpornographysite.com. Even so, how does a Christian man, who knows Pornography goes against God's wishes for us, take that first step into a much darker world?
Proverbs teaches us, "To a famished man, any bitter thing is sweet." If a man is starving for his sense of self-worth, he will start to look for it ANYWHERE. And when he finds a half naked woman saying, "You are valuable to ME," he fulfills another Proverb, "Like a bird that falls from its nest is a man who strays from his home." So does this mean, despite a loving, well intentioned wife with all the preaching and hymn singing and Saturday service days, today's Christian man could suffer from a lack sense of self worth? Unfortunately, the answer we must come to is yes.
Now yes, part of the problem is that we are constantly barraged by a no-morals media and culture, where promiscuity is encouraged and sexual impurity is celebrated. But there have always been morally bankrupt cultures where Christians live and work (see Corinth, Thessolonica, Athens, Rome, etc). So that excuse only goes so far. The bulk of it is internal.
I harken back to a previous posting on The Decline of the Godly Masculine Man. Without fulfilling his role, he is tossed aside and left to be without a role in the church, without meaning, without value. But further, in a culture where women are being elevated (a good thing, especially in some parts of the world) we must be careful it is raising women up to raise them up, not to level the field. We must also guard against not raising women up, but bringing men down. When half the team is down, you don't get better by lowering the half that is strong. But that is what society is doing in selling "the incompetent man" in sitcoms, advertisements and such. Yes, I would agree that shows like "Everybody Loves Raymond" are destructive to marriages and to men in general.
How do we fix it? First and foremost, we need desperately to get over our fear of talking about sex. Not just the birds and bees or the importance of sex in a godly marriage, but sex talk in general. When there is no conversation about sex between men, it creates a void, a starvation, and we are pushed to magazines like Cosmopolitan, Maxim, or worse. We are left to struggle on our own to figure things out when the greatest assets we have, the experienced married men who can talk with authority about sex, remain quiet for sake of embarrassment or privacy. I have never read anything in the Bible about privacy or embarrassed blushing trumping preserving the integrity and purity of the church. It is a plan of the evil one, and it is a battle he is winning. Men of the church, offensively engage Satan the way Peter instructed us (praying to Jesus for delierance) and go on the defensive against Him the way you are called to by Paul; instruct and mentor the younger men in the church and in your lives in general. A two pronged plan by the men in the church can be an effective weapon against Pornography.
Since it does affect both players on the team, however, the women have a part to play as well, which is the second action we as the church can take. Women, your opinions are so important to the men, even the ones you aren't married to. First and foremost, you need to bring out in your husband the Man he is and let that Man know you need him, now more than ever. Sexually, emotionally, intellectually, physically, spiritually; you need to let him know you need him. When it is someone who it is not your husband, you should do this as it is appropriate. This may take some submitting, something God calls you to do anyway, and may be rather hard for women blessed with independence. But the strength you build in the men around you will bulwark them and you from an onslaught of marriage and relationship destroying issues, not just Pornography.
This two sided battle plan is completed by reliance on Grace, of God as well as from your church family. Knowing you face not condemnation but compassion is an effective tool for preventing sin in all areas, since if you sin, you know with repentance you can be restored and are not a lost cause. If you know there is hope, like a prison inmate with a young child on the outside, you are less likely to continue in your behavior and more likely to try to reverse course. As a Christian man, the Grace of the Living God is your hope, as well as the eventual restoration to your church, your family, and your marriage bed (of course, a man involved in sin of this nature requires discipline of some variety, and should not be restored until his penance has been resolved by the Elders and his family).
By feeding the need, by open and honest discussion, and by promising unconditional love and compassion as Christ has for us, we can effectively defeat Pornography in the church. Of course, the very first step, just like AA, is the recognition of the problem. The only difference is the statement isn't "My name is JD and I am an alcoholic," but "We are Men and Women of God, and we have sinned." Why are women and all men included? Because with Pornography in a church, it takes two to sin; one to do it and one to let it happen.
Let me take an aside here for a moment and say that yes, women can fall prey to Pornography, with equally destructive results. However, the vast majority is men, and it is men I reference in my thoughts here.
First we must look at what it is. Pornography in its truest form is a replacement for something every man, woman, and child needs; the need to be wanted and desired. Not simply on a sexual level, but on a deeper, more basal level, every person needs to know s/he is wanted, that their existence means something to someone. Pornography offers just that. The models pictured are engineered to communicate, "You excite me," and "I want /need you."
It is easy to see how a single man can fall prey to this, especially when they have few solid relationships (both male and female) within the church and maintain few Christian friends in their lives. Such a man, even a man of the Covenant, is targeted and has little defense outside their own moral fortifications, which can become run down after a constant barrage (no it is not inevitable a single man will suffer the spell, only that he is in a more hazardous position). If he is chaste and a virgin, he will be less prone to Pornography, but even the most steadfast believer can succumb.
For a married man however, who is involved in a godly, sexual relationship, some might view it as a wonder (as I like to say, why pay for something I can get at home for free?). He is, hopefully, married to a godly woman who does what she can to meet his sexual needs, and is involved in a solid, Bible believing church. The disturbing question we must answer then, is why does it still exist as a problem?
Remember the essence of Pornography - the need to be needed. Somewhere inside that Christian man, the one who on the surface seems happy and content, is a sad and lonely man who is emotionally isolated and trodden down. He feels out of touch, unneeded and useless. What a tragedy that a Man of God might ever become like this, but it happens. The lack of self-worth may only be small, manifesting only once in a blue moon, but as small as it is, it is a significant part of our being. And as many know, it only takes a half second of weakness to type in www.genericpornographysite.com. Even so, how does a Christian man, who knows Pornography goes against God's wishes for us, take that first step into a much darker world?
Proverbs teaches us, "To a famished man, any bitter thing is sweet." If a man is starving for his sense of self-worth, he will start to look for it ANYWHERE. And when he finds a half naked woman saying, "You are valuable to ME," he fulfills another Proverb, "Like a bird that falls from its nest is a man who strays from his home." So does this mean, despite a loving, well intentioned wife with all the preaching and hymn singing and Saturday service days, today's Christian man could suffer from a lack sense of self worth? Unfortunately, the answer we must come to is yes.
Now yes, part of the problem is that we are constantly barraged by a no-morals media and culture, where promiscuity is encouraged and sexual impurity is celebrated. But there have always been morally bankrupt cultures where Christians live and work (see Corinth, Thessolonica, Athens, Rome, etc). So that excuse only goes so far. The bulk of it is internal.
I harken back to a previous posting on The Decline of the Godly Masculine Man. Without fulfilling his role, he is tossed aside and left to be without a role in the church, without meaning, without value. But further, in a culture where women are being elevated (a good thing, especially in some parts of the world) we must be careful it is raising women up to raise them up, not to level the field. We must also guard against not raising women up, but bringing men down. When half the team is down, you don't get better by lowering the half that is strong. But that is what society is doing in selling "the incompetent man" in sitcoms, advertisements and such. Yes, I would agree that shows like "Everybody Loves Raymond" are destructive to marriages and to men in general.
How do we fix it? First and foremost, we need desperately to get over our fear of talking about sex. Not just the birds and bees or the importance of sex in a godly marriage, but sex talk in general. When there is no conversation about sex between men, it creates a void, a starvation, and we are pushed to magazines like Cosmopolitan, Maxim, or worse. We are left to struggle on our own to figure things out when the greatest assets we have, the experienced married men who can talk with authority about sex, remain quiet for sake of embarrassment or privacy. I have never read anything in the Bible about privacy or embarrassed blushing trumping preserving the integrity and purity of the church. It is a plan of the evil one, and it is a battle he is winning. Men of the church, offensively engage Satan the way Peter instructed us (praying to Jesus for delierance) and go on the defensive against Him the way you are called to by Paul; instruct and mentor the younger men in the church and in your lives in general. A two pronged plan by the men in the church can be an effective weapon against Pornography.
Since it does affect both players on the team, however, the women have a part to play as well, which is the second action we as the church can take. Women, your opinions are so important to the men, even the ones you aren't married to. First and foremost, you need to bring out in your husband the Man he is and let that Man know you need him, now more than ever. Sexually, emotionally, intellectually, physically, spiritually; you need to let him know you need him. When it is someone who it is not your husband, you should do this as it is appropriate. This may take some submitting, something God calls you to do anyway, and may be rather hard for women blessed with independence. But the strength you build in the men around you will bulwark them and you from an onslaught of marriage and relationship destroying issues, not just Pornography.
This two sided battle plan is completed by reliance on Grace, of God as well as from your church family. Knowing you face not condemnation but compassion is an effective tool for preventing sin in all areas, since if you sin, you know with repentance you can be restored and are not a lost cause. If you know there is hope, like a prison inmate with a young child on the outside, you are less likely to continue in your behavior and more likely to try to reverse course. As a Christian man, the Grace of the Living God is your hope, as well as the eventual restoration to your church, your family, and your marriage bed (of course, a man involved in sin of this nature requires discipline of some variety, and should not be restored until his penance has been resolved by the Elders and his family).
By feeding the need, by open and honest discussion, and by promising unconditional love and compassion as Christ has for us, we can effectively defeat Pornography in the church. Of course, the very first step, just like AA, is the recognition of the problem. The only difference is the statement isn't "My name is JD and I am an alcoholic," but "We are Men and Women of God, and we have sinned." Why are women and all men included? Because with Pornography in a church, it takes two to sin; one to do it and one to let it happen.
01 August, 2008
Monthly Letter 01 Aug 08
This is the first real “letter” after coming back from block leave I think. I did give some heads up on some of the Soldiers, but this is the first one from me. By my count, we’ve been home for 2 months and 3 days, more or less a few days. Several of the Soldiers are still on leave, but the majority of everyone is back at the unit now.
I am working as the Operations Officer, which takes me out of the command role I was in and puts me in charge of supporting the platoons as a sort of staff officer for the company. Practically, it means I deal as the in between for our battalion staff and the rest of the Soldiers. If our higher ups need some information, I take care of it. If there is a Secret Service mission, it comes to me, then I divvy it out amongst the Soldiers. I work on reports and spreadsheets that track and follow all manner of things. To date I haven’t created a useless spreadsheet, although the day is young! Haha. I also oversee company training, supply and whatever has to do with support of the teams. Recently, I spent about $9,500 to start rebuilding essential basic equipment for the teams. I will be spending another $10,000 this month most likely, with a special $25,000 order in the pipeworks. Petty change to some, especially for us, where a full kit can cost upward of $3.5 million!
One of the things about running operations, or Ops as we call it, is that I know all the special assignments and requests for Soldier support missions when they are available (duh, I assign the tasks to the individual Soldiers). Unfortunately, there are never enough of us to go around, so we’re getting hit up already for special missions. We’re doing one in September, and I know we will be tapped to send a few guys to the DNC shortly.
In addition, I was by-name requested by my battalion to provide EOD support for something called NTC, or National Training Center in Ft Irwin, CA (about 75 miles South of Death Valley). I leave this Sunday (Aug 3) and get back on 24 Aug, 3 weeks total. Yes that means I’ll be away for Josie’s 2nd birthday, so we are having a party this Saturday with a fellow church couple from around the base (he is an army chaplain, and an Officer, in our denomination - OPC). We are grilling steaks and brauts, having cake, playing in the sprinklers (105 plus tomorrow) and other such birthday fun. I am excited about going, since I have wanted to go in the capacity I am going, but it is unfortunate about the timing. I will be what's called an O/C, or observer controller. Basically I follow around Soldiers and critique them on their combat performance.
I’m not sure if I said anything about it before, but I’ve given up coffee. Not totally, just the super sweet, extra sugared cappuccino I had been given to getting. Since I don’t like regular coffee, that eliminates all coffee. I realized I had not been helping my fitness and weight loss efforts by drinking that stuff, and it was really fattening. So now I drink green and regular tea. It’s not as tasty as the cappuccino, but it does me well. Right now I am drinking green tea in a mug.
I am still selling my Jeep, although there have been some interested people. I need to sell it soon, so I can get it off my insurance, pay for repairs, etc. Please pray that God will send a good buyer who will offer me a fair price.
I have thought about taking a SCUBA class before we go to Virginia. I took one in college, but at the time, I didn’t have the money to do the final open water dives, so I never got my certification. I passed the paper test and logged about 20 pool dives (20 foot pool), but missed my final trip. I am considering getting my certification now, since the organization has less strict requirements for a certification. I am not concerned about the lax standards, since I learned originally from the most strict in the country. It’s still, however, just a possibility. I probably won’t have time, to be honest, but we’ll see.
This is it for now. I won’t be in church this week for communion Sunday, which is disappointing, but not much I can do about it. We do have a date for our move, 22 September. After that we will be on the road for Virginia. Also by the way, I am operating a website “blog” where I am posting all my letters starting with this one, so if you want to delete this email, you can and still access my letters. There are also musings of mine that are culturally relevant, with a Scripture based worldview. The website is www.religionwithoutfluff.blogspot.com Yes I picked out the name. Yes there’s significance. If you remind me on 30 August, I’ll talk more about that. For now, this letter ends at the end of this sentence.
I am working as the Operations Officer, which takes me out of the command role I was in and puts me in charge of supporting the platoons as a sort of staff officer for the company. Practically, it means I deal as the in between for our battalion staff and the rest of the Soldiers. If our higher ups need some information, I take care of it. If there is a Secret Service mission, it comes to me, then I divvy it out amongst the Soldiers. I work on reports and spreadsheets that track and follow all manner of things. To date I haven’t created a useless spreadsheet, although the day is young! Haha. I also oversee company training, supply and whatever has to do with support of the teams. Recently, I spent about $9,500 to start rebuilding essential basic equipment for the teams. I will be spending another $10,000 this month most likely, with a special $25,000 order in the pipeworks. Petty change to some, especially for us, where a full kit can cost upward of $3.5 million!
One of the things about running operations, or Ops as we call it, is that I know all the special assignments and requests for Soldier support missions when they are available (duh, I assign the tasks to the individual Soldiers). Unfortunately, there are never enough of us to go around, so we’re getting hit up already for special missions. We’re doing one in September, and I know we will be tapped to send a few guys to the DNC shortly.
In addition, I was by-name requested by my battalion to provide EOD support for something called NTC, or National Training Center in Ft Irwin, CA (about 75 miles South of Death Valley). I leave this Sunday (Aug 3) and get back on 24 Aug, 3 weeks total. Yes that means I’ll be away for Josie’s 2nd birthday, so we are having a party this Saturday with a fellow church couple from around the base (he is an army chaplain, and an Officer, in our denomination - OPC). We are grilling steaks and brauts, having cake, playing in the sprinklers (105 plus tomorrow) and other such birthday fun. I am excited about going, since I have wanted to go in the capacity I am going, but it is unfortunate about the timing. I will be what's called an O/C, or observer controller. Basically I follow around Soldiers and critique them on their combat performance.
I’m not sure if I said anything about it before, but I’ve given up coffee. Not totally, just the super sweet, extra sugared cappuccino I had been given to getting. Since I don’t like regular coffee, that eliminates all coffee. I realized I had not been helping my fitness and weight loss efforts by drinking that stuff, and it was really fattening. So now I drink green and regular tea. It’s not as tasty as the cappuccino, but it does me well. Right now I am drinking green tea in a mug.
I am still selling my Jeep, although there have been some interested people. I need to sell it soon, so I can get it off my insurance, pay for repairs, etc. Please pray that God will send a good buyer who will offer me a fair price.
I have thought about taking a SCUBA class before we go to Virginia. I took one in college, but at the time, I didn’t have the money to do the final open water dives, so I never got my certification. I passed the paper test and logged about 20 pool dives (20 foot pool), but missed my final trip. I am considering getting my certification now, since the organization has less strict requirements for a certification. I am not concerned about the lax standards, since I learned originally from the most strict in the country. It’s still, however, just a possibility. I probably won’t have time, to be honest, but we’ll see.
This is it for now. I won’t be in church this week for communion Sunday, which is disappointing, but not much I can do about it. We do have a date for our move, 22 September. After that we will be on the road for Virginia. Also by the way, I am operating a website “blog” where I am posting all my letters starting with this one, so if you want to delete this email, you can and still access my letters. There are also musings of mine that are culturally relevant, with a Scripture based worldview. The website is www.religionwithoutfluff.blogspot.com Yes I picked out the name. Yes there’s significance. If you remind me on 30 August, I’ll talk more about that. For now, this letter ends at the end of this sentence.
27 July, 2008
The Decline of the Godly Masculine Man
Is it me, or is feminism destroying the masculinity of men in our society? I'm not talking about chivalry or paying for dinner; I'm talking about something deeper inside of us. We as men are encouraged to embrace aspects of a personality that can only be described as "womanly." Now what is "womanly" you ask, indignantly, waiting for me say something else before you go run and tell the ACLU? Hold on there Ms. Femi-nazi. Before you accuse me of being a bigot or a pig, hear me out.
In my home I do the dishes. I vacuum. I make breakfast and sometimes lunch and even dinner. I help hang clothes on the line and I watch my children so my wife can accomplish other tasks freely. I cry during sad movies and cheer when the little dog finds its way home across the mountains. I also mow the lawn, fix the sink, re-wire the garage, change the car's oil, watch football, drink alcohol and enjoy a good, rare steak. None of these things makes me more or less masculine, neither are any of them manly or womanly. I know plenty of women who mow the lawn, and quite a few men who don't know the first thing about plumbing or football. So what differentiates being womanly and manly? (Hint - it isn't things)
Above all, I am the leader of my home. It could be the military experience of leadership, but to me that means I am ultimately responsible for everything that goes right or wrong in the family. When I make a decision, I suffer the consquences worse of all if it ends up negative, for I bear the knowledge of having brought unhappiness upon my family. I lead the prayer efforts of my family, sometimes delegating to "Mama," often offering the prayer up myself. I instruct my family in God's Word and make sure the children see two godly parents as examples of Christian living. My wife conducts the business of the house under my supervision and delegation. I trust her to do many things solo, but as I am responsible to God for the well being and produce of my family, she is responsible to me for completing her specific areas of control. In short, "manly" and "authority to lead" can be held in the same sentence, while similarly "womanly" and "strength to follow" can be. And yes, it takes incredible strength to follow.
Do not confuse quiet and subdued for weak. Many loud and aggressive men are some of the weakest leaders I know, if you could call them that. Bullies more like. I am often quiet, and very rarely assert myself with any furor. The style of leadership varies from man to man, but the core of the matter is Authority. Is the man willingly bearing the position and responsibilty of his God-given Authority? If not, he is acting womanly. Not gay, womanly (two very, very different things).
Now to the meat and potatoes of it, if I haven't lost you already (feminists will say I am degrading women or mocking womankind). While we in the church do a good job of identifying and following traditional male and female roles, we do not adequately address the failure of true male leadership. Have you ever heard the term "Metrosexual?" It describes a man who is heterosexual but embraces a womanly way of life, becoming soft and mushy, instead of strong and authoritative. Again, do not confuse "soft" with "quiet." God instructs men to be strong, not weak. How many men in the church have you met that won't make a decision for the life of them, and will only go along with the crowd? Unfortunately, this is especially prevalent in the music aspect of Christianity, an area of Christianity I know thoroughly, being a musician myself. I lost count of the number of times we played "Amazing Grace" and other great but overplayed hymns simply because the worship leader wouldn't take the mantle of leadership and simply tell us what we were doing this week.
Often the metrosexual man in the church has incredibly feminine aspects of his life, and while doing traditional feminine things do not neccessarily make one womanly, it does present a foothold and is skating near the line. I firmly believe when God sets a line, we should head away from it, not see how close we can get before crossing it. I concede a man can be metrosexual and manly, but from my experience, one inevitably leads to the other.
How do we combat this? By open and honest, talk based on God's Word, coupled with dedicated and strong teaching from our Elders and Pastors. Men's outings, where we can explore our sensitive side, within the confines of a masculine environment can also be a great boon. A strong Man of God living in authority knows how to express himself with more than grunts and nods.
"Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses." First and foremost We need to stop coddling and scolding our men in public! Nothing erodes authority like a public chastisement. If my church brother corrects my children in a way I do not like, I will talk to him on the side, away from the public view. However, as a man in the church and therefore a leader, I would expect him to discipline my children in my absence. If he failed to do that, I also would address it directly to him, off-line. It is the latter I am more concerend about. We as men are afraid to act on our authority in the church. It's uncomfortable. It's awkward. It could open us up to a child abuse or molestation lawsuit. However, until we get over this hurdle and start behaving like a real family, I'm afraid the lingering womanly side of men in our church will continue to fester, enabling and encouraging the women to feed their inherrent desire to rule over the men, and planting some very vicious, tenacious and destructive seeds in an otherwise bountiful garden. Is this extreme? Perhaps, but it is also logical and very possible if we are not vigilant.
So men of the church, step up! Accept the mantle of responsibility and authority God is trying to give you. Become the leader your friends and family need you to be. And please, for the sake of my family and the future of our church, spank my children after the service when they misbehave and I'm not around. Correct my wife is she is speaking untruths, gossiping or being unloving. Just let me know afterwards what transpired. I'll grill up some steaks, buy you a beer, and we can watch Homeward Bound together on the sofa.
In my home I do the dishes. I vacuum. I make breakfast and sometimes lunch and even dinner. I help hang clothes on the line and I watch my children so my wife can accomplish other tasks freely. I cry during sad movies and cheer when the little dog finds its way home across the mountains. I also mow the lawn, fix the sink, re-wire the garage, change the car's oil, watch football, drink alcohol and enjoy a good, rare steak. None of these things makes me more or less masculine, neither are any of them manly or womanly. I know plenty of women who mow the lawn, and quite a few men who don't know the first thing about plumbing or football. So what differentiates being womanly and manly? (Hint - it isn't things)
Above all, I am the leader of my home. It could be the military experience of leadership, but to me that means I am ultimately responsible for everything that goes right or wrong in the family. When I make a decision, I suffer the consquences worse of all if it ends up negative, for I bear the knowledge of having brought unhappiness upon my family. I lead the prayer efforts of my family, sometimes delegating to "Mama," often offering the prayer up myself. I instruct my family in God's Word and make sure the children see two godly parents as examples of Christian living. My wife conducts the business of the house under my supervision and delegation. I trust her to do many things solo, but as I am responsible to God for the well being and produce of my family, she is responsible to me for completing her specific areas of control. In short, "manly" and "authority to lead" can be held in the same sentence, while similarly "womanly" and "strength to follow" can be. And yes, it takes incredible strength to follow.
Do not confuse quiet and subdued for weak. Many loud and aggressive men are some of the weakest leaders I know, if you could call them that. Bullies more like. I am often quiet, and very rarely assert myself with any furor. The style of leadership varies from man to man, but the core of the matter is Authority. Is the man willingly bearing the position and responsibilty of his God-given Authority? If not, he is acting womanly. Not gay, womanly (two very, very different things).
Now to the meat and potatoes of it, if I haven't lost you already (feminists will say I am degrading women or mocking womankind). While we in the church do a good job of identifying and following traditional male and female roles, we do not adequately address the failure of true male leadership. Have you ever heard the term "Metrosexual?" It describes a man who is heterosexual but embraces a womanly way of life, becoming soft and mushy, instead of strong and authoritative. Again, do not confuse "soft" with "quiet." God instructs men to be strong, not weak. How many men in the church have you met that won't make a decision for the life of them, and will only go along with the crowd? Unfortunately, this is especially prevalent in the music aspect of Christianity, an area of Christianity I know thoroughly, being a musician myself. I lost count of the number of times we played "Amazing Grace" and other great but overplayed hymns simply because the worship leader wouldn't take the mantle of leadership and simply tell us what we were doing this week.
Often the metrosexual man in the church has incredibly feminine aspects of his life, and while doing traditional feminine things do not neccessarily make one womanly, it does present a foothold and is skating near the line. I firmly believe when God sets a line, we should head away from it, not see how close we can get before crossing it. I concede a man can be metrosexual and manly, but from my experience, one inevitably leads to the other.
How do we combat this? By open and honest, talk based on God's Word, coupled with dedicated and strong teaching from our Elders and Pastors. Men's outings, where we can explore our sensitive side, within the confines of a masculine environment can also be a great boon. A strong Man of God living in authority knows how to express himself with more than grunts and nods.
"Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses." First and foremost We need to stop coddling and scolding our men in public! Nothing erodes authority like a public chastisement. If my church brother corrects my children in a way I do not like, I will talk to him on the side, away from the public view. However, as a man in the church and therefore a leader, I would expect him to discipline my children in my absence. If he failed to do that, I also would address it directly to him, off-line. It is the latter I am more concerend about. We as men are afraid to act on our authority in the church. It's uncomfortable. It's awkward. It could open us up to a child abuse or molestation lawsuit. However, until we get over this hurdle and start behaving like a real family, I'm afraid the lingering womanly side of men in our church will continue to fester, enabling and encouraging the women to feed their inherrent desire to rule over the men, and planting some very vicious, tenacious and destructive seeds in an otherwise bountiful garden. Is this extreme? Perhaps, but it is also logical and very possible if we are not vigilant.
So men of the church, step up! Accept the mantle of responsibility and authority God is trying to give you. Become the leader your friends and family need you to be. And please, for the sake of my family and the future of our church, spank my children after the service when they misbehave and I'm not around. Correct my wife is she is speaking untruths, gossiping or being unloving. Just let me know afterwards what transpired. I'll grill up some steaks, buy you a beer, and we can watch Homeward Bound together on the sofa.
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